Women cam be the biggest community builders for your gym! Make them feel comfortable with these tips

 When anyone does anything for the first time, it is daunting being a newbie. Multiply those times by two when it comes to martial arts.  If you walk into a martial arts gym and see people getting kicked, punched, thrown, and choked, the first thought on most people’s minds is “What the heck am I getting myself into?”  Now take that feeling and multiply that by 1000 for women.  More thoughts are going through a woman’s mind when walking into a martial arts gym beyond “what am I getting myself into?”  We are mostly thinking about if we’ll get hurt by someone bigger and stronger than us, if the men there are “safe”, and a million other thoughts. Even the first time I walked into my first gym, these thoughts were running through my mind and more (especially as a black woman).

Although those thoughts and fears are real, there are some ways martial arts gyms can make women feel comfortable and make the woman feel empowered, and welcome at their gym from when they walk through the door to when they reach the highest level.  While women who already attend your gym help by creating that environment of comfort and safety, there are some ways that martial arts gym owners themselves can foster better environments for their female practitioners.

1) Making Women Feel Welcome When They Come into the Gym

 When a new woman enters the gym, they should be at ease as soon as they walk through the doors. I am not saying that you should have stereotypical female-oriented decorations or whatnot. I am saying that there should be items or decorations that show that women can come in and feel welcome. This might be areas for women to put their stuff, signs that say all are welcome, or having your front desk person or you greet them as soon as they walk in the door. If you don’t have a front desk person, stepping off the mats for a second to greet the new woman as soon as you see them puts them at ease.

From when I lived in China, there were times that women would be greeted by the front desk person, but they weren’t taken seriously because of the nature of why many women come to jiu-jitsu gyms in the first place. Or my first time walking into a BJJ gym, I was ignored for a bit until someone came up to me after 15 minutes (I didn’t feel extremely welcome coming into that first gym in China, but I was resolute in going to train jiu-jitsu). 

This might seem like normal business etiquette, but you would be surprised how awkward it gets when you are standing there and feel like you don’t belong because it’s a “manly” environment.

2) Supporting Women in their Competition Endeavors

 In a martial arts gym, you will have competitors competing all the time. Most of the time, it will be men, just because of the nature of martial arts.  I’ve always believed that your gym is only as strong as your weakest person. So, supporting your female competitors in the same way that you support your male competitors is important.  I say this because, in the past, I’ve noticed that some coaches tend to put most of their attention into their mostly male, high-performing competitors and won’t put stock into their female competitors who might be interested in competing, but they are just at the start of their competition journey. 

If you take the time to give female competitors a chance, you’d be surprised at how that can help to grow your female athlete base just because other women see how many women are competing and being great at your gym.

3)  Putting Women in Leadership Roles at Your Gym

Putting women in leadership roles in your gym, like letting them teach classes when they’re interested, letting them lead warm-ups, or letting them help newer martial artists shows them that you value their presence at the gym, and you see them as a pillar for growth in the gym.

For me personally, I feel very important when my coaches have asked me to lead a class or show someone something new.  My coach Ramsey Dewey asked me to lead a women’s only jiu-jitsu class and although I doubted myself for a bit, I felt honored that he trusted me and my skills enough to let me lead a class.

4) Helping Women not feel like an “Other”

No one likes feeling like an outsider when they’re in any space. There is a tendency for the men to group and form their cliques. Or there might be one woman in the mix who’s a good martial artist and she’s just “one of the guys”. Speaking from experience, it stinks to feel like you’re on the outside of your gym community. I felt this way when no one wanted to talk to me in my first gym in Shanghai. There might have been a language barrier, but no one tried. When you’re trying to make friends in another place and it’s hard, even when you have something in common with the people around you, it can affect your mental health.

No one is saying that you need to make everyone your friend or include everyone in everything. But taking time to include people in conversations, strike up a conversation about the class, or ask women how they found the class always helps people feel included.

Making Your BJJ a Warm Environment for Everyone

When people feel good about going to your martial arts gym, they’ll want to bring their friends and include them in that great feeling. Women are community builders and if they feel comfortable and safe, they want to spread the word and tell other women to come and make your martial arts gym their “third place.”  When women feel that they’re supported and that they can grow in your gym, they kick major ass both in and out of the gym. These tips are just a few that can help support that environment.

Question: Do you feel like your gym has a great environment for its female practitioners? Why or why not? Tell me in the comments or on my Instagram @blackgirlwhitegi_bjj